Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Revelations

Cat Lady

Ever wonder just where in life a person steers towards the whole crazy cat lady thing? I don't because i see that transition about 4 days a week. Cat Lady is just like the one on The Simpsons, just younger and able to speak a little clearer. If she could bring cats to work, she'd probably throw them.

"19 years I've worked in this place and they owe me so many breaks, that I've missed, I could retire on them."

Things wrong with this statement:
  1. 19 years! In a grocery store! AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN AN ASST. DEPARTMENT HEAD!
  2. Like they could get away with not paying you what you earned. I'm sure a multi-million dollar company is gonna risk Wal-Mart-esque scandals just to save a few hundred bucks from your check.
  3. 15 minute breaks are on the clock already. And you usually take at least 25 minutes anyway.
  4. If you think you're going to make it to retirement before you go insane my guess of a year maybe two might be giving you a lot of credit.

The Twat

Twat came into work today at 11:30 after a long night at "The Boat" across the river. After she told us of her amazing comeback from down $400 to up $100, she informed us of her "rug burn" on her elbow that she obtained from a long night of gambling at the roulette table. A co-worker said it best. "Been there, done that."


Barbara-Sue-Joann-Mary-Beth-Shaqueesha

Sitting in the break room a few seats over I see mom with her hair practically wrapped around her neck. Unable to help myself I move her hair over expecting to see another dirt devil bite but... no? "I told him he couldn't do it anymore. Well, not on my neck." Another person in the break room then informed me that they just moved. Slut McGee then practically flopped a tit on the table to prove his statement. After her break was over and she finally left I told everyone she was "trifling" and was met only with agreement. I swear that she gets dumber every time I see her. And that is Mr. Sincerity speaking. Honestly, there is a part of me that wants to destroy her soul for pure pleasure. Make her cry and possibly quit right there. But for some reason I can't.
Maybe I'm going soft.

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